a pretty in the city gal on her way to debt freedom & healthy living a day at a time, who fills her time with yoga, music, books, baking and much much more. won't you join her?

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Rearview Mirror

"we form our own destiny by our thoughts and beliefs" emmet fox

We all have this great big vision of where we want our life to be - of how we want our destiny to pan out. Me, through the young eyes of a 12 year old, thought I'd be a writer with a well established career, that I would own my own house with my husband and kids.

For better or worse our visions don't always come to fruition, but it's interesting to sometimes look back on the path we created for ourselves, figure out if we chose the right fork in the road, and then if not..... do everything in our power to get back on the right track.

What is the right track? Of course it will change and ebb and flow just as the seasons do at different stages in our life. But sometimes you just 'know' that where you are, right now, is not right. It just feels a bit murky.

No matter how far you travel down a wrong road, you can always turn back. Always.

So here we go. I'm trying to leave behind some of my past (while always knowing that it has shaped me into who i am today), and turn down a different road. It's scary but also exciting.

Ok.. nah, I'm scared shitless. Haha. I know my battles and even though they make things uncomfortable, I have had them for years. They are almost like a security blanket. But the time has come to let go and jump.

It's kind of freaky really.. to get to a point and realise you are completely f*&ked and then have no idea how to go about fixing it. So i'm picking up books and podcasts and I'm going back to being a student (i always was ok at that).. and I'll follow the plan laid out in the book and the words from my friends. It's really all i can do right now and honestly, it's not too bad a beginning.

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