the power of a good cry

Last night I heard a friend talking about how he has just been crying so much lately - his dog died, his relationship with his partner ended, and lots of personal issues are cropping up.

He has balled on his own, he's balled on the phone, he's balled to his friends, he's balled in the car, he's balled to a therapist. It's been a festival of balling. But in that sorrow, he's found such release.

He talked about how he could never cry - on his own or in front of people; That he'd just hold it all up inside. But that in allowing himself to cry now, he's feeling as though he is processing his feelings - he's feeling his feelings.

I would say that most of us probably don't sit with our feelings all too often. I can confidently say that regarding myself, I am a master of not feeling - either by drinking too much (things are bad, I'll drink. Things are good, I'll have a drink. Things are whatever, I'll have a drink....), or by being constantly busy (full time job, plus part time work, for the last 10 years!!). But over the last couple of months with all my health issues and personal work (therapy) I am really starting to feel and man, is it hard! No wonder I don't like feeling!

The tears that have been released from my body are INSANE - I think between my pal above and I, we could have fixed the drought problem Australia is facing ;) But after the initial shock of allowing yourself to let go and just try to get in touch with your emotions (happiness, guilt, anger, rage, sadness, depression...), it's such a glorious feeling - to be ALIVE.

So yeh.. have been working really hard lately on getting my health up to scratch (vitamins have not been absorbed in my body for a LONG time) with some medications, some injections, many doctors visits, many therapists visits, and also lots of SLEEP. I have not stepped on a yoga mat for a couple of weeks, but I've done loads of meditation instead. That in itself is a big thing - just stopping : ) And today I actually feel like I could go and practice yoga again, in fact, I'm itching for it. That is a god sign!

I've also given up on the alcohol, so that in combination with actually living - wow, things are full on for me but also really exciting.

And for that, I am grateful : )