shinyruby

1 year.

2009-09-07T09:30:00.004+10:00

It is absolutley how amazing to see how things can so drastically change in a year.

1 year ago I was depressed, majorly depressed, hating my job, hating my life, on anti-depressants for the 12th year straight, stupidly obsessed with unavailable guys, overweight, bloated, unhappy.

My head was just noisy all the time - worrrying, thinking, debating, hating, crying, putting me down. I had no hope for the future - after all, the bookshelf full of self-help books hadn't really acheived much so far.

Don't get me wrong - there were glimmers of hope here and there but each time things would fail again, as they inevitably did, it was getting harder and harder to get back up.

Fast Forward a year. Yesterday I spent the day with friends. It was filled with cake, breakky, coffee, love, songs, sunshine, drives, pizza, yoga, cards, happiness.

I have a whole new bunch of friends. I am off anti-depressants. I have clear skin. I have a smile (more often than before!) on my face. I have lost weight. My mind is a lot quieter than it has ever been. I don't want to top myself. I have hope. I enjoy my job. I have prospects. Overall, I'd even say "I'm happy". All of this because a year ago I stopped drinking and started working hard at life.

IT's been the hardest year of my life. Without a doubt. I'm facing up to things I've found to painful to deal with in the past. It's tiring and trying and I've cried lots but I also have been more honest - to others and to myself - than ever before. I have had (and am having) intensive therapy and I'm only just starting to get into some very deep and uncomfortable parts of my life and my being, to uncover and grow and move forward. And it's the most crazy, exhilerating, hard, joyful, simple time of my life.

What a ride! x

Becoming a "grown up"

2009-07-05T18:22:00.003+10:00

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”~ Anais Nin

To blossom - each person's definition of blossoming would be slightly different but I suppose for most of us it'd be about becoming bright, unfurling to our full potential. Getting organised to finally get private health insurance might not exactly be what Anais Nin meant by blossoming, but for me, it's just another small step on my path to becoming a grown up.

For me, this past year has been all about these 'small' steps - which when you add them all up, become a wonderful strong journey. Small steps like getting health insurance, paying off a credit card, holding yoga workshops, furthering my study, getting a pay rise at work... which all add up to getting it together, aka Growing Up. For me, these things are all about me blossoming - opening up.

We often think that to be a success we need to achieve and get this and that and do amazing astounding things.. and in doing so we can forget about the day to day things that actually are pretty darn shiny.

Take a moment to think about your year so far and be excited peeps - be excited about the seemingly ordinary, the seemingly 'everyday' - which when you add them up, become the most important life of all: YOUR life : )

Enjoy x

All aboard the m$ney train

2009-06-25T17:32:00.002+10:00

So there were a few breathless moments when I thought I'd be made redundant the other week. Thinking ahead of times of stress and having no cushioning under you is a horrible feeling.. anyone in debt knows that feeling of tightness in the chest! So it's with great happiness I found out that no, I wasn't getting made redundant - and in fact I had such a good performance review that I got a nice litle pay rise : )

First thing I did when some extra $$ landed in my bank account was to pay off the American Excess credit card. DONE! No more debt on that card!

Next thing I did was to build up my $1000 emergency fund. DONE! It's a good feeling to have some money in there for a rainy day. Cushioning, it's nice to know you.

Next thing I did was pay a weeks extra rent. And then I put some extra payments onto my loan - which is now under $10 000. DONE!

I thought about paying extra on my rent, to know that I have payments taken care of.. but then I realised it would be silly of me to pay money into my landlords bank account and let him earn interest on it, when I could keep it in my ING account, earn interest on it myself, and put that towards my 3-6 months living expenses.

The Dave Ramsey baby steps to getting out of debt that are relevant to me right now are:
1. Save an emergency fund of $1000
2. List your debts from smallest to largest and make the minimum payments on all but the smallest - throw everything you can at this smallest one, get rid of it, then move onto the next smallest one, putting all the payments from debt 1 that you have now paid off onto debt 2... thus creating a Snowball Effect, getting bigger and bigger with each payment.
3. Up the emergency fund to contain 3-6 months of living expenses.

(The remaining 4 of the steps talk about retirement, education, home, investing)

So right now I'm onto Step 2, and only have the one loan repayment now. Minimum loan repayment is $275 each month. What is my goal when I'm out of debt? HOME baby!! My own home. There is no inheritance coming my way, it's all going to be done on my own, so I'm looking at saving 6 months worth of living expenses and then looking at options. Interest rates at the moment are FAB so if a market looked like it does today, I'd go in 100% borrow rate. How the hell are you meant to get into the market otherwise? But seriously, that day is years away and in the meantime it's about getting things on track.

It's good to have paid off that pesky credit card tho and see the end in sight.. it might still be a while off but it's visible : )

Gratitudes : )

2009-06-09T10:40:00.001+10:00

1. *****
2. Angela
3. Lovely family
4. Beautiful home
5. Job I love and am good at
6. My car
7. My heater, on frosty mornings
8. Laptops to while away the hours
9. My health, includin no colds so far this winter : )
10. Friends

"The art is not in making money, but in keeping it."

2009-06-07T19:02:00.003+10:00

Isn't the above proverb great? But while I can enjoy it, I sitll feel a bit sick in the tummy to think that a redundancy could happen at any time. However, I have to keep reminding myself that life only throws at you what you can handle. Seriously.

And today, right now, I have a job. A job I love.

In preparation for 'rainy days' though, a question for you, dear frugal readers:
Currently my debt stands at 10 713 (personal loan) and 1300 (on a work credit card). In this undertain economic time, would you be inclined to continue paying off all you can on the work credit card, and paying minimum repayments on the personal loan?
OR
Would you start throwing all those extra payments onto advance rent payments, and paying just the minimum on both credit card and personal loan repayments?

Reader, I am a massive fan of Dave Ramsey. I love his idea of debt snowballing and the baby steps. With this in mind, hit me with your thoughts.

x

PS - and YES I know how awesome all of this will be when I don't have debt to pay off anymore, but can be ahead in rent with no worries ;)

Blogs I'm reading today: Budgets Are Sexy, How I Save Money, Wise Bread, Dave Ramsey

Money can be Seksi

2009-06-05T19:07:00.002+10:00

Yes, money is HOT when you've got it, or when you have enough of it to go around. When you don't have enough of it, money is definitely, oh so most definitely NOT seksi.

Let me say that both times I've been made redundant from jobs in the past, things have turned out so much better than expected. The universe works in wonderful ways.

But still, it hits you hard when life throws you a curve ball.

Me, I have a job I really really enjoy, and a job that I am good at. Actually, a job I'm great at. I'm great at my job and I love my job. But it's a shaky economic time and who knows how long I'll have a job for. My friend at work got made redundant today and it's horrible. But what's more horrible is that I am not in a financially fit position so should something (like a redundancy) come up, the not so fab experience would be made even worse.

Life happens, and let's face it - crap happens, things fall apart. But imagine being in a position to bounce back with the least amount of drama and negativity possible.

I have received a bit of $$ lately (rental bond money, tax return, Rudd dollars) and it's been so damn hard and painful but I've put it directly onto my debts. Gosh - imagine not having debt!! So it's been a good wakeup call for me to start getting real with my money.

Because seriously, I've been banging on about how I'm in debt for a good few years now and I've not really committed to getting OUT of it. I've still eaten out A LOT. I've still bought new clothes. And while I have not bought any big ticket items, I've wasted the same amount of money by purchasing magazines, and books, and way too many little instant gratification items.

It's like an addiction! And I know all about that.. since stopping drinking I've just been eating up a storm like there's no tomorrow. Tired? No worries, I get takeaway. Can't decided what to have? No worries, I'll buy up a fridge full of food so I can change my mind.. and then let it all go off and get takeaway again. So there's alcohol, there's food, and there's money (or rather, buying).

So it's time to commit properly right now. Here we go.

Dave Ramsey, I heart you!

Hahahah heehee

2009-05-08T15:10:00.000+10:00

Dove :: Onslaught

2009-04-14T10:24:00.000+10:00

It's Raining, It's Pouring

2009-04-13T17:42:00.002+10:00

Autumn has well and truly arrived here in Sydney! Not only has daylight savings ended, which means the dark nights are descending earlier, but the weather has that nice chill to it, and right now, it's pouring outside.

I've got to say, I don't mind this time of year - there's none of that exhausting heat, there's not too many bugs around (or hayfever) and there's generally not too much rain.

This time of year also sees me pull out my big lovely pots again and head to the kitchen to make yummy soups, pastas, bakes, risottos and such. Tonight's menu: pumpkin, mushroom & spinach risotto. And anyone that knows me will know that despite living on my own for a while over the past 10 years, and cooking for myself in share houses during that time as well, I struggle to cook for one. Absolutely.

How to cook for 1
Good news? Now that my friends are starting to have babies, I am dropping over ready made, home cooked meals for them : ) So not strictly cooking for 1, but definitely not allowing all that food to go to waste!

I've also tee'd up a deal with a girlfriend at work where one week I'll bring lunch in for both of us on the Monday, the next week it's her turn. That means at least one healthy, homemade meal for lunch each week (and for a take-out loving girl like myself, this is a good deal!). We've been going for a couple weeks and each week there has been at least 4 of us going in this so it's working out well.

Anyway, I'm off now to start the cooking, and look forward to having leftovers tomorrow : )
Happy Easter friends xx

PS - made it (FINALLY) to yoga today, a vinyasa class at Body Mind Life. LOVED IT!

Cupcakes, Eggs & Chocolate, O My!

2009-04-13T08:07:00.004+10:00

I love Easter. More obviously, I love the CHOCOLATE of Easter. And in the post-Easter glow, I love the idea of new beginnings that Easter is really all about.

I've been struggling to get into any sort of fitness routine for the last couple of months. Between teaching yoga and working a very full on full-time job, doing anything above and beyond the duties of those things rarely gets a look in. Hence why I needed to stay at home this past holiday - to just BE STILL and BE.

But the joys of getting older means that those jiggy bits are a bit more obvious and also take a bit more work to shift. And heck, I had to buy a pair of new jeans for Winter yesterday and being in a change room under horrid flourescent lights is enough to slap your senses into moving your butt!

So today I'm off to the gym. I think.

I actually really want to get to a yoga class but I really do need to do the simple treadmill and bike thing. Perhaps both? (Yes, I tend to want to do everything, all at once!) We'll see. But at least one bit of exercise today, for sure. I've also started assisting in 2 x Tuesday morning yoga classes which in itself is a little bit of work - pulling and (gently) pushing people into the right adjustments! It's heaps of fun but more importantly for me right now it's proved I can get out of bed early. A new habit for me to keep ;)

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter, friends.

Hoorah for mini breaks!

2009-04-12T08:24:00.003+10:00

Well I must say I did get pretty excited to have a big fat yoga payment come through into my bank account, but how quickly reality sets in! Ok, so I did get the flyscreens from Hire-A-Hubby (boy, who would have thought those things are so expensive?!) and I'm really glad they're being installed on Wednesday because I'm sitting here itching and scratching from all the bug bits I've got!).

And I got a bunch of photo frames, which I spent a couple of hours last night block mounting and then hanging up on the wall. They're actually not that expensive at all (god bless Ikea) but what is expensive is my yoga teacher insurance. So there goes the rest of my $$$. Ahhh it was fun being rich for a day!

Ok, I should tell you as well that today I'm getting a massage, hoorah! I love to get massages - and they're not always a luxury. Take today for example - well rather, last night. I didn't sleep well at all as everytime I turned I woke up with a sore neck & shoulder. Perhaps it's sitting at a desk all day looooong hunched over a computer in a stressful job. Perhaps it's then going to twist and bend for many hours each week in yoga. Me, I think the yoga cancels out the tight hunching... but regardless, I often get a horrible tight neck and shoulders.

I have actually twice been in the situation where I physically could not turn my neck at all it was just locked so tight! Ouch!

Maybe it's just my 'thing' - but so be it. And off to the masseur I go. Not a bad deal... although i have been known to cry on the massage table because I have such big knots it HURTS when she gets them out. ;( Anyway, so today it's off to get a massage and if you're in Sydney and need a good one - head to the Buddah Bar in Newtown (Amal and Elaine are the best).

I've spent the last couple of days resting and being 'housey' - dropping off a meal (complete with dessert) for my gorgeous friend who has a new baby, cooking myself some meals, unpacking those final few boxes from the move... and tomorrow mum + sis + niece are coming up to see my new home. I've watched the "Twilight" movie 3 times (I definitely need to go to the dvd store, but hey, R Patz is YUM so it's not all bad), and I've got a day ahead of not much - it sounds perfect.

Oh, and I've also caught up with some different friends for coffee and breakky. It's been a wonderful mini-break and I can't wait to enjoy the final 2 days.

Much love,
me x

ps - why is it I struggle getting up during the work week but come holidays, I'm up bright & cheery before 8 every day?!

Mmmm Hot Cross Buns

2009-04-09T08:35:00.002+10:00

I love Easter time, for lots of reasons. A predominant one is because it's the season for hot cross buns, yum!! And another, because it means holidays! Here I am, day 1 of a 5 day break, and I set my alarm for 9am - instead, I'm up bright and early and WIDE AWAKE at 8am.

I have trouble getting out of bed at 8:30 on a normal 'school day' - so why is it that I'm up so early today? Go figure, I must be excited or something haha! Or maybe it's the fact I know I'll be having afternoon naps every day till next tuesday, woohoo! Whatever the reason, I'm running with it : )

I'm glad I did get up though, because I checked my bank balance and my yoga pay has come through - and hoorah, I have a little more cash than I thought I would be getting, which means a couple of things:
a) I can get a massage and get out the soreness in my neck at long last!
b) I can afford to fully purchase the new jeans (see earlier post) that I need to get for winter
c) I can get the handyman in no problemo!
d) I can get the photo frames happening and sorted this very weekend
e) and I can enjoy the long weekend with a few coffees out, hoorah!

Great start to the day : )

So now I'm off to enjoy it all - and get started on the BB Awakening too. Big weekend!
Oh, and btw - have you seen this FABULOUS site? I Found Yr Camera. I love it!

Happy Easter dear friends xx

MORE Wants

2009-04-08T11:19:00.000+10:00

I want to get fit and to lose about 8 kgs.. I've got some jiggy bits I'm not altogether happy about.

But I guess eating twisties for breakky isn't really helping me achieve that goal.

Hahaa!!

I thought about joining weight watchers or something like that but in all honesty, I don't want to waste my money. I know what to eat. And I know I have to move my butt.. so this holiday, here I come! I've got 5 days off work over easter and I intend to get moving!!!

Me Want! Me Want! Me Want!

2009-04-07T09:36:00.002+10:00

Yes, this is all about wants! There's a lot floating around inside my head so I'm putting it down here to create some more space 'up there'. hehee!

A Hubby - well, a hire-a-hubby to be exact. None of this permanent biz, just someone to come by, fix things and leave. Ha!
Fly screens for my new home! (seriously, why aren't there any?!)
Washing Machine - that fits into my little washing machine spot. And that doesn't leak.
New showerhead! That has really strong pressure. Is that a showerhead thing? Or water pressue? Hmm...
Photo frames - ikea, here I come.
Hair Straightner - Hair cut & Colour
Massage
Physio
PT sessions
New jeans
New winter clothes & a pair of shoes

But mostly, I want to be debt free.
Let me tell you, a lot of this stuff is actually pretty necessary - well, stuff that I deem necessary. It's interesting putting it down in writing though because you see just what you don't really need. The bolded items are the ones I'm getting first up, the rest will have to wait a little.

Here we go! x

If today could speak to you...

2009-03-29T13:43:00.004+11:00

what would it say?

Shutter Sisters posed this question today. To me, I think it would say LET GO.

New Home, New Season

2009-03-23T09:34:00.002+11:00

I love that just as Autumn has settled firmly into the atmosphere, so it is that I have settled firmly into my lovely new home.

I love autumn - it's a close 2nd to Spring. The temperature is dropping, there aren't so many bugs around, hayfever is non-existant... it's a wonderful transition time - and change is my middle name right now.

I spend the whole of Saturday moving - I got the keys to my new house that morning, and moved in immediately. It was a good move - all things considered - I was really organised, everything was in boxes, the removalists were fabulous. Then they left and I was surrounded by a mountain of boxes, so what did I do? I did what any new home-occupier in their right mind should do... I went shopping. ha!

I had a ball, I purchased some practical goodies - food and flowers : ) Then it was time for the real work to kick in, and I must say I was surprised at how far I've come in just a couple of days. I have worked my butt off and I'm very smiley at how things are coming along. I even made it to a yoga class yesterday afternoon (after much debating) to stretch out this sore and tired body of mine - and how grateful that I didn't listen to my head and stay home. Sometimes I really just need to get out of my own way! I also have today off work (phew) to settle some more.

The only thing not so fabulous in this whole move is the $$$ going out. Double rent, connection fees, removalists, ugh! But it's probably a good thing in that it will make me tighten my belts - let's see how little it is possible to live on this month!

Till next time with photos,
shiny xx

What if married people were treated like Singles?

2009-03-20T09:35:00.001+11:00

Owners of the singles advocate blog, Onely, came up with this list of the types of statements couples would be forced to endure:
"Don't worry, you'll get a divorce someday."
"Oh, you're married? I'm so sorry!"
"You're so great - how come you're still married?"
"It's OK to be married for a while but eventually you need to grow up and become single."
"You're so lucky to be married and not have as much responsibility."
"But don't you feel bad not having a life, seeing as you're married?"
"When are you going to get a divorce?"
"It's so sad having to come home to a house with someone in it all the time."
"Well, I would've invited you to book group, except you're married and I thought you wouldn't want to be around all those happily single people."
"What's a beautiful woman like you doing married?"
From professorwhatif.wordpress.com

I LOVED reading this in the SMH yesterday. Giggle-worthy (and so true!!!).

Loving...

2009-03-18T16:43:00.001+11:00

The Avett Brothers : )

Hope

2009-03-17T10:47:00.005+11:00

hope⋅less /ˈhoʊplɪs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [hohp-lis] –adjective
1.providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; desperate: a hopeless case of cancer.
2.without hope; despairing: hopeless grief.
3.impossible to accomplish, solve, resolve, etc.: Balancing my budget is hopeless.
4.not able to learn or act, perform, or work as desired; inadequate for the purpose: As a bridge player, you're hopeless.

While I was in the depths of depression, perhaps the scariest part of it was that I had no hope. Joy, happiness, love... all these emotions are vital and important but at least if you don't have them, and still have hope, you can get through the day. In my depression, I had no hope that I would ever have these things again - indeed, I had no inkling at all that things would change. It was a hard, heavy, very upsetting path to be on.

Hence I am so so so so over the moon and happy to say that things now are looking up. They're far from ideal but the turning point for me was that I now have HOPE again - Just an inkling of possibility that things might be different.

I had a mini melt-down this morning, just thinking about packing and moving and holding down a full time job and a part time yoga job all at the same time, all while having a cold.. but then spoke to a wise woman who said "just do it". Ha! That is so true! There is really no option but to just put my head down, and power through this upcoming week.

So here's to HOPE, to packing, to tissues and to YOU. Just do it!
x

photo credit: super hero journal

Hello, you GORGEOUS people!

2009-03-16T11:53:00.003+11:00

Just curious, friends, when was the last time you looked into a mirror and addressed yourself as "Gorgeous," "Magnificent," or "Sublime"?
Friends, it matters.

Isn't that a beautiful sentiment? Dear friends, remind yourself daily of these ideas by signing up to Notes from the Universe. They'll make you smile!

Change of Scenery

2009-03-13T10:28:00.003+11:00

I'm moving to a new home! I'm really really excited - within 24 hours the decision was made AND a new home was found. I'm moving back out on my own (share housing, pah!) and it's a beautiful one bedroom studio in a gorgeous old federation house. Big windows, wooden floorboards, and checkboard tiles in the kitchen and bathroom - bliss : )

Living alone in Sydney obviously means there's lots of $$$ going out in rent, but it's worth it. I am so in love with my new home and sign the lease today. Hoorah!

It's amazing to realise that while I've been working on paying off my debt and doing quite well at it lately, there is much more I can be doing. I will be tightening the reigns on the budget and am actually looking forward to it. And with no flatmates to eat your food and never replace the toilet paper, I am sure there will be some expenses that actually come down ;)

Hope yr smiling x

Validation : )

2009-03-07T15:41:00.000+11:00

Smoking Chair

2009-03-02T17:37:00.003+11:00

I'm at home sick again today. Still got the fever thing, the belly thing, the dizzy thing. Dr said it's a bacterial thing. All these things... but I'm getting lots of sleep, which is good. I really can't even bring myself to watch tv - despite getting out the entire season 2 of Six Feet Under.

I've not really eaten much today either, just some toast for breakky. So I'm a bit peckish - but the thought of cooking, and actually - the thought of eating, doesn't really sit too well with me. I was in shock when I dropped by my bday gathering last night (delivered my cupcakes!) and couldn't even be tempted to nibble on all the party food. That is how I know I'm really sick - me, knocking back sugar?? LOL.

Spending some time now reading some personal finance blogs to help me stay on the track to get out of debt. Feeling good that I've consolidated the debt and now it's just the one easy payment to knock off each month. That feels SO GOOD - seriously, I started getting anxiety attacks thinking of all the debt I was in. So future - here I come! I actually am excited about pay day now, seeing those debt figures come down (see the funky debt counters I've added to the blog too?).

One way I could surely save some dosh is to stop eating out, but I guess it's one battle at a time. At least I'm eating dinner most nights now - which was a very different story 6 months ago. So baby steps. And speaking of 6 months, come this Friday it'll be 6 months I've not drunk, god willing. I'm so happy and more than that, I'm nowhere near as depressed as I've been prior to now. So no drinking, I'll stay with it.

I was feeling a bit of a pity party attack this afternoon, I mean seriously - it's day 4 today that I'm home sick and I just want someone to come and take care of me ; ) But I'm now sitting by the back door in our elegantly titled 'smoking chair', and feeling that breeze come through and watching the sun over the back yard, well, the pity party is moving on. If I have to be sick, I suppose it couldn't be in nicer surroundings : )

Today I'm grateful for:
* I have a job
* I have a beautiful home
* my family
* books books books
* study retreats coming up
* the net!

Baking.. Throwing.. Baking

2009-03-01T09:04:00.003+11:00

So tonight I'm off to a first birthday celebration and I'm on babycakes cupcake duty. I bought 3 packets (not quite up to the making from scratch stage yet) and got up bright and early to start baking. So homely! But alas, one batch done and only when I got to baking the 2nd batch did I realise I forgot to add the oil - hence my babycakes were more like baby ROCKS.
Throw!

Batch 2 is in the oven now, let's see how they go (fingers crossed!)

I've been a bit sick lately with a funky virus going round - it comes in waves, I feel good and then like death warmed up. Part of the reason I was also up so early this morning was because I wanted to go to Body Mind Life for a Power Yoga class - but it's just not going to happen, I feel my belly is going to explode. Blah. Not pretty, this funky sickness.

Felt pretty average yesterday too (came home sick from work on friday, when it all started) but did manage to pick up my special order from Phoenix Rising Books - my Voice of Knowledge audio cd's. Don Miguel Ruiz is someone you have to check out if you're not across him. We heard some of this CD in my recent yoga training and it was phenomenal - I just had to track it down! Whilst in the store, I also came across a fab collection of Pema Chodron cd's (a 3 set!) for meditation. Lucky I hadn't transferred $$ into my debit card account or I would have also purchased What About Me, the dvd. All good purchases - not so good for the debt payoff plan though.

However, I've commenced my mentoring course in yoga and need to up my personal practice, and timewise, meditation looks like the only practice I can fully commit to daily. So the cd's are great : )

Now.. off to ice some cupcakes. Much love x

It sounds good to me

2009-02-27T22:31:00.001+11:00

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk?” ~Albert Einstein

Al Gore's desk!

I'm a DOER! Not a GUNNA!

2009-02-27T19:31:00.004+11:00

haha I just had to laugh out loud as I've just seen a hilarious Burgen bread ad on tv.. all about DOING and not "I'm gunna do this when.." or "I'm gunna do that when...". And looking at my finances, I've got to say I'm pleased that I'm starting to DO!

I've consolidated my debts, including my recent yoga teacher training costs, and I'm feeling good and positive about paying them off. My emergency fund (of $1000 in savings) is now in place. This pay (mid-month) will see me pay off my amex bill completely. So then it's the full on ONE loan repayment, woohoo! I am already a couple of months ahead in my loan repayment (I set it low so I could always pay it, with the intention of paying it off much quicker than I need to) and it's such a good feeling to see movement happening.

You'd have to be living under the rock under the rock under a rock if you haven't gotten stressed out or caught up in the 'global economic crisis' going on right now - but to be honest, I don't have savings, I don't have a huge retirement fund, I don't have stocks or what nots.. so for me, it's not affecting me right now. I am steadily focussing on getting rid of my debt and saving a good emergency fund, and then eventually looking at purchasing my own home.

People (yes, me included) live in such debt in and in our consumer society it's not a bad thing - if anything, it's encouraged. So I want to start living a little differently and feel that immense pressure in my chest that happens when I think about my debt LIFT!

So here's to being a do-er, not a gunna. Wohooo!

I forgot my computer password

2009-02-13T13:42:00.004+11:00

...and it feels GOOD!

I've been away on a yoga teacher training retreat with Baron Baptiste for the last week and I feel so wonderful, strong and powerful! I did a Jivamukti class this morning and did a jumpback from Bakasana to Chatarunga (one of my first!) and also side bakasana with extended legs - first time! Not only did I do them but I felt stable and strong, it was amazing!!!

The training meant a week without a computer, email, tv, mobile phone or newspapers (or coffee!)... and it was bliss. So when I jumped onto my computer just a moment ago to prepare some notes for the partner yoga workshop I'm teaching tomorrow, I had to think for a few moments to remember my password. Not that is a true sign of getting away from it all!

It was a little scary coming home and putting the tv on for the first time - one, because of the noise (what an assault!) but two, because of the devastation of the Victorian bushfires. Hundreds of people have lost their lives, and thousands of people have been affected. On the day prior to Love Day, pls be generous and give in any way you can - it doesn't just have to be $$. Some wonderful ideas are here.

Namaste x

New pillows are great

2009-01-20T13:44:00.001+11:00

I have been pretty resistant to getting new pillows for my bed. The ones I have been using are perfectly suited to me - they've been worn down just the right amount so they're really comfy, and they're just familiar.. and 'comfy'. But over the last little while I've often been waking up with neckaches and sore shoulders and headaches.

At first I thought it was just the stress of work - but then I realised it could well be my comfy pillows, which - really - aren't that comfy anymore. They're really flat and squashy and just not all that supportive. So I unwrapped the new ones my mum had given me a couple of months ago - beautiful, soft but firm, new pillows. And MY GOD i can't believe it's taken me this long to get it happening. They're great!

But a (new) comfy pillow does not a sound sleep ensure! For some reason I just couldn't sleep on Sunday night - until 2.30am. So understandably I was cranky, irritable and tired yesterday, and presumed I would sleep no worries last night. WRONG. I was tired all day but as soon as it was time to go to bed, no joy! So an hour, a magazine and fair few book chapters later, I finally managed to doze off.... and then awaken all morning by some damn bug that was feasting on my neck, my chin, my knee, my shoulder - anywhere and everywhere. Argh!

So again, I'm irritable. Mighty mighty restless. And it's so darn busy at work.
But surely (surely God!!!!) tonight I should find no problems falling asleep.

Pls cross your fingers for me.
x

Growling Belly

2009-01-15T20:17:00.002+11:00

I am so hungry tonight that my belly is growling and I feel sick. Sweet flatmate is cooking up a yummy dinner so I can smell it wafting through the house and I'm crying for it!

Last night I asked sweet flatmate if she could cook for me all the time. She said yes. Haha how I wish that were true! I need to get out of my cooking funk and start trying to be healthy again. At least this week at work I've made my lunch each day (salads mostly, a plain old tuna sandwich today!) - that's a start.

Oh - and it really helps with the budget! My oh my, does it ever! It's good to have something to save for or something to pay off to inspire you to get the budget under control!

My loan (to consolidate debt) got approved this morning - but then she called back and said they'll have to put it through the process again as they didn't take into consideration that I still have a HECS debt (less than a couple grand.. but still need to note). Ugh. So I'll find out tomorrow morning if it's still all good to go - fingers crossed. It would make life so much easier having just one payment instead of all these ones here and there each pay.

Good news though - savings have increased again this pay day. Hoorah!

Off to dinner now, hugs x

Well, fancy that!

2009-01-14T22:39:00.002+11:00

So here I am talking about debt, and then today I get my payslip and there is a nice bonus there! We get bonuses when we have chart success (in my job) so hooray for timing!

It's so hard to put every penny of the bonus onto debt, but can you just imagine how good it will feel when there is no more debt and all those bonuses are mine? Soon! SOON!!! : )

Study and such

2009-01-13T16:43:00.003+11:00

At Lululemon last year we all wrote our upcoming resolutions/goals for 2009 on Christmas balls, and hung them from the beautiful tree in the store. I had a couple of fun things spring to mind that touched all areas of my life. Obviously I want to be debt free, I want yoga to play more of a part in my life this year, I want to have lots of savings, I want to have LOVE in my life, I want PEACE in my life, I want to run a 5k.. amongst others secret goals ;)

And then BAM, just this week, it happened.

I got accepted into Baron Baptiste's Teacher Training this February! It's a week long intense intensive - yes, intense intensive! 7 days of early morning starts, study, meditation, asana practice, group discussions, adjustment workshops, more asana and a late night finish - and I tell you what, I can't wait!

So while I was absolutely over the moon that one of my resolutions/goals was coming to fruition, it kind of threw me in a spin. I was planning on travelling overseas this year but now that money will be going to this training instead. And while I'm more than happy for that to happen (as this training has international qualifications), it's completely shaken up my debt payoff plan. As in, completely.

So I just made a phone call to my bank to see if I can re-finance my loan and consolidate all my debt into the one payment. For the last 9 months I've paid all my repayments with them on time and I'm actually quite a few payments ahead of where I need to be right now, so fingers crossed! They said I should hear back this afternoon or possibly tomorrow morning. Pls keep your fingers crossed for me.

Sometimes I feel like a juggler with all these payments coming out left, right and centre - and while I've gotten a good handle on my repayments, adding the yoga study tuition to it has taken my breath away ever so slightly. While it is something I can definitely do and succeed at and pay off within a good time frame, it would be A LOT easier to have all my debt in the one spot.

Fingers crossed : )

Lady Beatle : )

2009-01-05T17:29:00.004+11:00

Was stocking up on some yummy summer fruit & veg early this year and came across a pretty little ladybug, travelling in some grapes.

Too cute : )

Can you see her? On the sign, hiding up the top in the red section!

Random-ness

2009-01-04T13:02:00.002+11:00

I bought a cute pink Dymo today. I'm off to label things. Lots and lots of things. This dymo will make me organised, I just know it ;)

PS - Amy Seeley - I heart you! Check out this goosebump-worthy new music : )

Happy New Year

2008-12-28T14:49:00.002+11:00

No excuses! : )

Run Shiny, Run!

2008-12-28T14:38:00.003+11:00

I've been in touch with my running coach and am looking forward to start running again in the new year. Greta is so lovely - that even a complete non-runner such as myself feels more than comfortable signing up for sessions with her!

In 2009 I'm looking for a race to sign up for (5k) and I am looking forward to making my appearance at the City to Surf - my first appearance. I mean, as a Sydney-sider, I have to do this, right? (About time, I hear you!)

So the beloved Couch to 5k training program has been pulled out (another link here), and so have the joggers. It has been a pretty intense last couple of months for me... hmmm, yes I'd even say life changing. Health concerns and mental issues are all under control (well at least I can see where I'm heading now) which is really nice. Yes - really nice! Anyone who has read of my battles with depression and such knows that 'nice' is indeed pretty damn fine!

I've been off the alcohol for a couple of months which I'm sure is the biggest factor in all of this, but it's all the 'one percenters as well' - I've had so much acupuncture in the last few months. I've had a stack of neurofeedback. I've had massages and reiki.

And I'm feeling that there is hope. Yeh!

So c25k training starts this week and I'm looking forward to it : )
Anyone else had any joy with that particular program?

x shiny

Gratitude

2008-12-23T09:29:00.002+11:00

[I bought myself a little chrissy present this year - the gorgeous pendant above]

+ I have a wonderful home with a great backyard
+ Early morning watering of the garden in the sunshine
+ Wonderful new friends who are just a phone call away
+ Making headway on my $$ in 2008 so christmas wasn't too much of a stress this year!
+ Quiet days in the office (which make cleaning easy!)
+ Sunshine
+ Abby
+ Books, books, books and more books!
+ Baking pink cupcakes

One week - 14 meals - just $50 = POSSIBLE!

2008-12-16T16:04:00.003+11:00

Yep - it is! There was a great feature in the Good Living liftout of the Sydney Morning Herald a few weeks ago and I just came across it again, and thought it worth a posting.

A new year means new budgets and new inspiration so here's to home cooked meals and getting frugal! Being frugal is the new black, didn't you know? ;)

(* Click on the images to make them bigger)

2009 Debt Diet

2008-12-16T10:56:00.003+11:00

My financial goals for 2008 were to pay off my Mastercard Credit Card, and have $1000 in savings in the bank. Points – 0.

Hmmm didn’t exactly achieve those goals but in an odd twist of events I’ve actually paid heaps off my personal loan – probably the same amount that I would have paid on the credit card, so I’m still very happy.

2008 Update:

Personal Loan: 4949 (now 999.87)

Credit Card: 3250 (now 2900)

Mum: 4000 (as is)

Car Share: 1000 (paid off!!)

Amex CC: 1000

Savings: 100

Actually, it all looks pretty sad when you look at it like that.. I've only managed to pay off $5000 or so. But hey, it's better than creating more debt so I'll take it! The year also involved moving house (always an expensive task) and the usual mayhem of trying to create a budget, but I suppose this is the first time I've really laid it out for all to see (including myself, in black and white) so it's a starting point!

Here are my Financial Goals for 2009:
Personal Loan: to be paid off (starting at 999.87)
Credit Card: to be paid off (starting at 2900)
Mum: to be down to 2000 (starting at 4000)
Amex CC: to be paid off (starting at 1000)
Savings: to have 2000 in my account (starting at 100)

That means putting $1000 a month towards debt/savings - which is definitely do-able. Here we go!

You don't need $$$ to have FUN

2008-12-12T17:27:00.003+11:00

Ohhh look at this magical site I came across! And just in time for the holidays around this expensive, present buying time of the year : )

Go on, check it out : )

Gratitude

2008-12-10T13:30:00.004+11:00

+ photo envy

+ great sparkly lights and the idea of christmas (above photo credit: dooce)

+ cute tea tins

+ yoga studios being open over the christmas holiday period
+ holidays only a hop, skip and jump away

+ the idea of baking

+ friends who really know me, and like me just as I am

- my head

- my analytical, constantly analysing head

- my tired and sleepy head that has to be in meetings at work today

- having a crappy little oven that doesn't fit a normal size baking tray

Surrender

2008-12-07T14:53:00.002+11:00

Oh dear, it's been a wee while since my last post... I have been snapping away and creating photos with the intention of writing posts and putting them up here... but haven't gotten that far. Instead, I've celebrated my 31st birthday in a most gorgeous week of celebrations, food, and friends.

Instead, I've been crazy busy at work but really am enjoying the frenetic pace of it all.

Instead, I've been teaching lots of yoga classes (including a 2.5 hours yoga workshop, with 60 participants!). That involved many late nights sewing up little eye pillows with lavendar and flax, and lots of fun, chocolate, stretching, tears, laughter, om'ming, sleeping and divine exploration of the self during the class.

Instead, I've started teaching free community yoga classes at Lululemon in the city.

Instead, I've had the first round of christmas parties to attend, and baby showers to touch base at, and breakfasts with friends to catch up in.

Instead, I've come home late when my flatmate is in bed as I've been working/playing/meeting. And then I've gotten up early in the morning while she is in bed, to work/play and meet some more.

Instead, I've been reading lots of gorgeous inspiring books, including Running to the Mountain, and Wisdom. I've been listening to wonderful sounds such as Pearl and the Puppets, Dido and Subway Bhaktis.

Instead, I've been writing up chrissy lists, doing chrissy shopping, and creating recipe lists for homemade goodies. I've also hung baubles up on christmas trees, but not just any kind of bauble. It's a wish bauble - where I've written my goals for 2009 on the bauble.

I've also thought about starting running again.

And inbetween all of this, I have tried to meditate. I've written daily gratitude lists. And I've tried to grab some ME time.

I'm doing ok - and I hope you are too : )
Much love x

I love pay day

2008-11-14T19:58:00.003+11:00

Yes, I love pay day! Not for the fact that I have to pay debt off with a bunch of the income, but rather, that each month I get to see the debt go down just a teeny bit more.

And today I'm especially excited because I got a bonus at work, and although I nearly cried having to do it, I put half of it towards my loan and half of it towards my credit card (as well as my usual monthly repayments on them) and I'M OVER THE MOON to see the numbers slide even further down.

My initial loan that I got out years ago was for 10k. I now have just under $2000 left to repay! HOORAH! I am so excited!

I almost want to kick myself for getting into this mess but I am very happy to be able to see the finishing line .. a little way off. Like pantene, it may not happen overnight, but it will happen. Thank God!

Slowing Down is not a waste of time

2008-11-10T13:25:00.003+11:00

If a lumberjack stops work to sharpen his axe, it is not a waste of time.

No one would say the lumberjack is lazy - in fact, most would praise his work ethic in stopping, taking care of his tools and going back to work more efficiently.

So why is it that in yoga there are so many of us who will not stop when we really need to rest? When a pose is beyond our capabilities that day - as often happens in yoga, things change day to day - why is it that we'll struggle through and PUSH ourselves into a pose we think we should be in?

This idea isn't specific just to yoga either - but in all aspects of life, both on and off the mat. Someone mentioned this lumberjack reference to me today and it really has stuck with me. I hope it makes you think too!

It's OBAMA!!!

2008-11-05T15:11:00.003+11:00

If the world could vote...

2008-11-04T14:05:00.004+11:00

Interesting site - see what the outcome would be if the world could vote in the current US elections right here!

GO OBAMA!!!

Just remember to...

2008-11-03T20:39:00.002+11:00

Organisation schmorganisation

2008-11-02T19:15:00.002+11:00

I've come to believe there is some truth in the idea of being organised. So I'm giving the weekly meal planning thing a go. Small steps.

So far:
- I've got a mushroom, chickpea and tomato risotto on the oven which will last me a good few meals!
- There's pumpkin baking in the oven so I can make the yummy pumpkin, tofu and tomato meal with couscous
- I bought lots of veggies and stock to make up a vegie and lentil soup
- I also bought lots of vegies to make my all time fave dish from my Moosewood cookbook
- Finally, I've also bought some fruit. Comes in handy that.

And when all else fails or I become lazy and don't want to cook, there's frozen salmon fillets in the freezer, along with some frozen single serve vegies. Not ideal, but hey - better than takeaway.

Phew!

Unmanageability

2008-10-29T15:21:00.002+11:00

As I grabbed my gear and walked out of the office at lunch today, I said to a work mate, “If anyone needs me I’m on my lunch break, I’m going to a yoga class before I kill someone.”

It’s been that kind of a week. Actually, make that couple of weeks.

I thought I was doing ok and on certain times of day I am. Then it goes pearshaped. The term ‘unmanageable’ is springing to mind.
I thought I’d lost $600.
I thought I’d lost my blackberry.
I have lost cd’s I was meaning to give to a friend.
I have lost some important insurance papers & certificates.
I have also just found my appetite again after a few weeks of insane macca’s only cravings. I just couldn’t decide what to eat over the past couple of weeks so instead I just ate nothing. Or I’d go shopping, purchase food to whip up 3 different meals because I couldn’t decide which I felt like, and then get home, still not be able to decide which one to go with, so then I just wouldn’t have anything.

It’s like this constant fight going on in my head and it’s bloody tiring! But it will pass.
Hope things are much lighter in YR corner of the world : )

Noodle Markets & Fun

2008-10-26T11:43:00.008+11:00

I've been really busy lately. It seems we all have. Seriously - I need to take a breath! There have been awards celebrations + working till late + airport pickups + gigs with 10 000 italians + egos + early morning starts + yoga classes + noodle markets + new haircuts + so much more.

Art & About in Hyde Park - artworks in the outdoors!!!

Good Food Month & Night Noodle Markets!

Day trips to Spotlight to make eyepillows for yoga classes!

Water fountains in Hyde Park - a 2 minute walk from my office. Sometimes life can be smiley.

: )

Honey Honey - Feist

2008-10-23T16:00:00.002+11:00

I wish I had a doggie

2008-10-14T20:57:00.002+11:00

Today I was in Stacks of Wax, and was wondering around when I saw this cute little dog resting with his tennis ball in middle of the front window. I started talking to him.. and when he didn't growl or look angrily at me, I gave him a little pat. I love dogs.

Then I continued to walk around and lo and behold, the pup followed me round to the other side of the display and walked around and round my legs, looking up at me.. clearing asking for another pat : )

So as soon as I bent down, he lay down, turned on his belly and was ever so grateful for the belly rub. So so gorgeous.

Wouldn't it be so lovely to be a puppy and get all these cuddles and love from strangers, and give so much back?

x

29 Gifts Challenge

2008-10-14T09:33:00.002+11:00

I recently discovered the most beautiful movement - a worldwide giving movement called 29 Gifts. What's it about? Well, as the title suggests, it's positive community helping to create a revival of the giving spirit in the world. I'm giving a gift to someone each day for the next 29 days. Simple!

There are already more than 2,000 people taking part from 37 countries and the goal is to grow the movement to 20,000 givers as soon as possible. Think you'd be keen to join in? Just sign up at 29 Gifts and commit to give away 29 gifts in 29 days. You can start your personal challenge any time, and your 29 Gifts can be anything... money, food, old clothes, smiles, your time, kind words or positive thoughts.
WHY SHOULD YOU DO THIS? To inspire more generosity on our planet. Because to see our world change, we have to do something to change our world. Plus, the best way to attract abundance into your own life is to be in a perpetual state of giving and gratitude.

the power of a good cry

2008-09-26T10:08:00.003+10:00

Last night I heard a friend talking about how he has just been crying so much lately - his dog died, his relationship with his partner ended, and lots of personal issues are cropping up.

He has balled on his own, he's balled on the phone, he's balled to his friends, he's balled in the car, he's balled to a therapist. It's been a festival of balling. But in that sorrow, he's found such release.

He talked about how he could never cry - on his own or in front of people; That he'd just hold it all up inside. But that in allowing himself to cry now, he's feeling as though he is processing his feelings - he's feeling his feelings.

I would say that most of us probably don't sit with our feelings all too often. I can confidently say that regarding myself, I am a master of not feeling - either by drinking too much (things are bad, I'll drink. Things are good, I'll have a drink. Things are whatever, I'll have a drink....), or by being constantly busy (full time job, plus part time work, for the last 10 years!!). But over the last couple of months with all my health issues and personal work (therapy) I am really starting to feel and man, is it hard! No wonder I don't like feeling!

The tears that have been released from my body are INSANE - I think between my pal above and I, we could have fixed the drought problem Australia is facing ;) But after the initial shock of allowing yourself to let go and just try to get in touch with your emotions (happiness, guilt, anger, rage, sadness, depression...), it's such a glorious feeling - to be ALIVE.

So yeh.. have been working really hard lately on getting my health up to scratch (vitamins have not been absorbed in my body for a LONG time) with some medications, some injections, many doctors visits, many therapists visits, and also lots of SLEEP. I have not stepped on a yoga mat for a couple of weeks, but I've done loads of meditation instead. That in itself is a big thing - just stopping : ) And today I actually feel like I could go and practice yoga again, in fact, I'm itching for it. That is a god sign!

I've also given up on the alcohol, so that in combination with actually living - wow, things are full on for me but also really exciting.

And for that, I am grateful : )

Lunchtime in the sun

2008-09-15T16:48:00.002+10:00

Welcome Spring!
Welcome lunch times in the park outside at work!
Welcome sun!

What Cainer Says..

2008-09-12T16:46:00.000+10:00

Scorpio – fri 12 sept

There are bars on every street corner selling liquor by the litre. Millions of people frequent them. The use of alcohol is so widely accepted in our society that its absence raises an eyebrow. Perhaps because it so famously desensitises its users, we forget that it is not the only source of intoxication. There are other more subtle, yet equally potent sources of inebriation. Smiles, for example. Loving looks and encouraging glances. You can have many happy hours this weekend, just by drinking in the sheer joy of good company.

Even more fitting.

What Cainer Says..

2008-09-11T16:47:00.000+10:00

Thurs 11 Sept

A little kindness costs nothing. Even when we are in a hopeless situation we can be polite and gentle, mild mannered and understanding. Somewhere in your world now, a conflict has arisen. Trouble is brewing. Anxiety and anger have been stirred together into a kind of crisis cocktail. Those who are drinking it in, are becoming most unfortunately inebriated. You need to stay sober. If can only manage to keep your wits about you, you will see the silver lining that accompanies the current cloud. There ends your forecast. Here begins an important announcement. A study of your in depth horoscope, based on your exact birth details could really change your life for the better.

Very fitting.

Meditation

2008-09-08T20:47:00.002+10:00

When I did my teacher training I got the hang of meditation. We did it so often that I really came to enjoy the practice - and found it not at all impossible to still my mind. Practice really did make (near) perfect!

But then life came along, and I stopped meditating so much.. and it's something I've been meaning to rectify.

I did go along to a phenomenal Yin Yoga & Meditation class a couple of weeks ago but since then that timing hasn't worked out for me. I'm definitely going to go back but in the meantime I've needed something to get me going.

Over the last couple of weeks I've started having panic attacks again - I used to get them years ago so went on a specific med that helped with anxiety as well as my depression.. and clearly they've stopped working! All in all I am going through a lot of personal stuff right now and with the rise of the panic attacks, what better time to find some peace wherever I can?

So this weekend I got up on a sunny Sunday and set my alarm for 5 minutes.. slow and small to start with. And WOW - what a pleasant surprise to find that it wasn't all that difficult after all? I did it again on Sunday night, and tonight - Monday, I did 10 minutes and nearly jumped out of my skin when my alarm went off (I really need to find a nice soothing alarm sound!)

I had to laugh when I heard a meditation teacher say once that people perceive the practice of meditation to be so hard, that they'll spend hours reading books on it and studying it.. all this time thinking about it - but no time practicing it. It's so true! So I'm hoping to continue with the practice - and fill my life with some much needed peace, in body and mind.

Need some help yourself? There are so many different types of meditation - from guided podcasts on the net, to classes in your area, to simply sitting down and focussing on a candle flame, or counting yr breath. I've learnt a few techniques in acupuncture that have been helpful to me - why not read up on some other ideas here, here or here?

Today has been a long day

2008-09-04T18:03:00.004+10:00

So I heard someone talking the other day and one thing they said in particular has completely stuck with me -> "I've gotten through the past 10 years with a self help book in one hand, and a glass of wine in the other"

After I stopped with the belly laughing I really thought about this and wonder why it is that I'm always LOOKING - looking for the answer, looking for something to fill that void I can't help but feel, lookingfor whatever it is that will make me feel ok about being me.

I have read so many self-help books and done so much bloody therapy that I should be an enlightened being by now but still, I'm so so far off. Soooo far off.

But that said, I'm still going ok. I'm working through things and each day I find out more and more about myself. Yet I do wonder if one ever stops 'looking'? I mean, do YOU have this thing about continual searching? I have no idea.. is it just me?

*Sigh*

Listen to this: Adem - Loro (Pinback Cover)

Transformation

2008-08-27T13:57:00.004+10:00

Today I taught a yoga class at 7am this morning. The sun is coming out earlier (the last few months have been pitch black - winter is finally nearing an end!), the air was fresh and I was looking forward to getting on the mat.

The last week has been a pretty INTENSE week for me. Lots of personal things going on in the last couple of months and I'm finally at that stage where I'm making big changes. So when I walked past a lady on the street corner near the yoga place, setting up her fruit stall and saw some gorgeous flowers on her table, I just had to stop and purchase some.

At the end of class I gave each student a gorgeous bright gerbera flower - and told them to take some sunshine and loving kindness off the mat and into their days. And there were a couple left that are now sitting on my work desk, so I'm taking that message with me too!

In the end it was me who got the gift - the look on their faces was just priceless. They were SO happy. So for that happiness, and for sharing it with me, your fellow yogi - thank YOU.

Enjoy your day, everyone xx

Too too too too....

2008-08-22T20:06:00.002+10:00

cute. Totally.

I love being an aunty : )

Journal Questions for Chakra #2

2008-08-18T21:15:00.002+10:00

An awesome post from Bliss Chick got me thinking.. and there are some questions I'd like to explore this week.

Perhaps you would too? Enjoy! X

1. How do you feel about sex? Do you think you have a healthy sex life? If not, how does it need to change? Have you experienced any sexual traumas in your life? If so, have you sought appropriate help to work through these experiences?

2. Do you feel creative every day?

3. Do you think you are as creative as you are capable? Are you holding back your creativity? Why?

4. Do you spend more time fantasizing about things you will do than actually doing those things?

5. Are you stuck in the planning stages of creative projects -- always making lists or buying supplies or waiting for the perfect time or space in which to work?

6. Do you eat to avoid emotions? Ever?

7. Do you push your emotions down, willing them away, determined to put on a good face no matter how you actually feel?

8. Do you envy the successes of other people or are you confident that there is enough to go around?

9. Is acquisition of material goods your primary motivational force?

10. Is each day an obstacle or do you awaken feeling energized by the possibility of healthy challenge and stimulation?

11. Do you have an overriding sense of purpose and vitality? Or you are spending most of your time in apathy and ennui?

Remember, wear what makes you feel wonderful, do what makes you feel wonderful, and spend some time shining like the sun!

Shiny's Big Bad Debt Tally Version 2.0

2008-08-18T17:35:00.008+10:00

A while back I took a long hard look at where my finances were - but since then I've paid down some of it, added some more, moved house, done this & that. So here's a new version of the Big Bad Debt Tally, V.2 (as at 18 August, 2008)

This time I'm also putting the Dave Ramsey plan into action!

Debt
Amex CC: 1000
Mastercard CC: 2900 (started @ 2958.34)
Personal Loan: 999 (started @ 2576.32)
Mum: 4000 (started @ 4800)

Savings
Current: $527.55
Goal 1: $500 achieved 18 Dec 09
Goal 2: $1000
Goal 3: $5000

Financial Goals
1) put all my yoga income towards DEBT
2) to have $1000 in savings
3) pay off the personal loan by March 2009
4) travel overseas in 2009

Inappropriate Yoga Guy

2008-08-18T11:07:00.002+10:00

Now that I finally know how to upload videos on this ol' little blog, watch out! First up, a blast from the past. Hilarious Inappropriate Yoga Guy.

Enjoy xx

Debt Advice Welcome!

2008-08-17T20:32:00.002+10:00

As many of you will know (or have realised by now), I have a BIG addiction.. BOOKS! I cannot walk into a bookstore without buying one. It is my dream to own a house and have one room just dedicated to all my books!!

And there are many worse addictions.. I know. But to get to the "own the house" part, I need to curb the spending on books part.

And right now, I have many books that I could (should?) well sell/give away/exchange in order to create some flow.

SO - 2nd hand book stores are the obvious choice. But last time I went to one I gave them nearly a whole bag full of books and got $20 bucks. Blah. (And I'm lazy - just being honest!)

Ebay would be ok - but my prior experience is that books don't really sell well on there (that was a couple of years ago tho).

And the last option I know of is to just give them all to St Vinnies (we're talking about 6 big bags of books, here!) and let others in need purchase nearly new books for nix. Karma.

So friends - what would you do? I seriously have LOTS of books to get moving, and many of them are 99% new (read once after being bought brand new!).

Thoughts and suggestions very very welcome : ) xx

Today was...

2008-08-15T20:13:00.004+10:00

A CUPCAKE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

yippee : )

Yes indeed, it was a handful of sunshine on an otherwise poo day.

Sparkle Cupcakery on Foveaux Street, Surry Hills.

(What a fabulous name!)

Yoga Retreat :: Celebrating Goddesses

2008-08-11T19:51:00.000+10:00

There is nothing like getting away on a yoga retreat to get oh so excited and rejuvenated about yoga again!

clockwise from top left: decorations from nature!, prayer flags at the entrance of the gathering room with the fire, toe socks and thongs - practical and warm, the yoga room

I made it to my first yoga retreat in over a year (oops) this past weekend and honestly feel like a different person! Friday night we headed to Vijayaloka Retreat Centre in Minto Heights (under an hour out of Sydney) for a whole weekend of yoga, yoga and more yoga, and what a glorious time it was.clockwise from top left: shoes outside the rooms, the beautiful alter in the practice room, greenery outside the dining room, i found a spot of sunshine to write all my thoughts in my journal!

Friday night was a welcome, dinner (yummy vegan ayurvedic food supported our practice throughout the weekend) and meditation + chanting practice. We got to meet everyone (there were about 16 of us) and then quickly settled into bed for the night. It was freezing but oh so cosy with wood fires and many cups of tea.

Saturday morning we continued with the chant we learnt on Friday night as we commenced out 7.30am practice. The weekend was all about Celebrating the Goddesses, so many of the chants were about calling them to mind. Singing together as a group is really lovely – especially when it just doesn’t matter how in tune (or out!) you are. Closing your eyes and singing along is a forgotten art, I think! Seriously – when did you last sing with others??

The morning class led by Katie (director of Samadhi Yoga) was so glorious and just what I needed after a sick day off work on Friday with the never ending cold. We followed that class up with yummy porridge, fruit and more cups of tea, before having some free time to explore, go on bushwalks or read… me, it was all about settling in front of the fire to read! Shortly after we all came together again to have a lecture and workshop on Ayurvedic principles and to discover our very own Dosha (I’m a strong pitta/vata girl). (Want to find your own dosha? Check out this site - but note that this is a guide only!)

buddhas, buddhas everywhere! all around the gardens, as well in pot plants : )

Next up it was lunch – and let me tell you, after three days of brown rice, yummy vegie and bean dishes, salads and fruit, I have never felt so bright and clean. My skin is glowing – my eyes are getting comments! – and then more free time (what else to do but have a great nap?!). A Jivamukti class with chanting in the afternoon was up on the cards next, and then more free time. It was so great to be surrounded by like-minded friends, who were all excited to try new poses and meditations, to talk about our own yoga practice and just find things in common with.

After dinner that evening there was a chanting workshop but whether it was the fresh air or emotions brought up during the days of practice, I instead had a hot shower and snuggled up in bed with my journal and a book.

Sunday morning rolled around WAY too fast and again it was beautiful brekky, then another class with Katie. This time, it was a restorative practice – so lots of Yin Yoga, holding poses, meditation and a phenomenal savasana. I definitely had ‘yoga brain’ after this – I was all blessed out and on another planet! But sure enough it was time to come back to the land of the living, and enjoy our last meal together as a group. Lunch again was yummy and wholesome, and then it was time to go home.

Driving just 40 mins back home was an experience in itself! We weren’t too far from the ‘city’ at all but the I think it all took us time to adjust. We were very noise-sensitive, as you would be after a weekend of no phones, no radio, no tv and no traffic! Sunday night it was more journal writing for me and planning all the classes I want to go to this week! I am also completely hooked again on the study of yoga.. and am looking forward to getting online for a few moments to explore these options.

Have you ever done a yoga retreat? Whether it’s a simple day (Body Mind Life have a few day retreats that look interesting) or a week, taking some time to dedicate solely to this life-altering practice is so worthwhile. It gives you time to STOP and to BE PRESENT, which is something in our technologically advanced age that we rarely find time to do. So how about you make a commitment to yourself to do a retreat over the next couple of months? You won’t regret it – and I look forward to hearing your stories : )

**Want to go on one? There are many available, ranging in price and length. Head to http://www.findyoga.com.au/ and look at just some of the upcoming events & retreats.

I’m also holding a yoga workshop in about a month’s time, encorporating many elements I experienced this weekend. So stay tuned!

ENJOY xx

I am grateful for...

2008-08-07T08:40:00.002+10:00

Right now I'm all over JASMINE FLOWERS. I adore jasmine, I love the smell, I love the look, I love the sense of Spring and newness that they bring.

I have a bunch of jasmine sitting on my desk at work so each time I walk into my office I get a beautiful smell... I have a bunch sitting in my bedroom at home.

I get a big smile on my face every time I smell the flowers!!!!

holidays are great...

2008-08-01T19:24:00.006+10:00

HOLIDAYS

R O C K!!!

The Magical Loaf Studio

2008-07-27T11:25:00.002+10:00

I found it! I wasn't sure where I'd come across it but OMG OMG OMG check THIS out!!!

http://www.veganlunchbox.com/loaf_studio.html

enjoy x

Eating Local

2008-07-27T11:03:00.003+10:00

I have just finished reading “The 100 Mile Diet” by Alissa Smith & JB MacKinnon, and it was so interesting.

While eating local may not be the answer to everything (yes, it may be closer, but costwise it may not be sensible as just one fact) it raises the point that we really have become so far removed from our food. Not just physically – but on so many levels. I have no idea where my food comes from – whether in Australia or overseas. I have no idea how many pesticides it has been sprayed with, or how old it is!

Over the last 2 months my flatmate and I have been getting an Organic Fruit & Veg box deliverd (by The Organic Grocer) and the quality is amazing. See? Fruit really isn’t meant to go off and soggy within 2 days of purchase!! haha..

So I'm making a promise to myself to eat more local foods - and while I am not sure how things will go with this goal, I am interested in just finding out where my food comes from. How far it travels. Where it originates from.

It will be interesting : )

Has anyone else got any tips or does anyone know about this stuff? If so, please help this city gal out!!!

Fun posts:
Organic news and small family farms

ABC Local Challenge

The 100-Mile Diet – the book & site

Slow Food

Holidays are here!

2008-07-26T18:10:00.010+10:00

It was not just another Saturday..... no, it was the beginning of my holidays. So a jaunt was in order!

I woke up before my alarm went off so just lazed in bed reading books, then got up and had some yummy organic strawberry jam on toast. Then we had a little visitor - Baby D came over and we had a ball just doing, um, baby stuff. Watching him, laughing at him, trying to feed him.. Babies rock : )

Next I headed into Newtown to go to the post office, and as I was over that way I dropped by the Glebe Markets. I wandered around the stalls (bought 2 awesome 2nd hand books), just taking in the colours and smells and sights, and then plonked down in the park to enjoy my feast whilst a guitarist was playing and kids were running about.

My feast? There's a regular stall there with the BEST EVA beanie nachos (you can get them on brown rice or corn chips) - it's been there for years and it's just so fresh and yummy. I just head to Glebe and get a craving for them so today it was all about the beanies : )

I then came home to devour my new books - Simple Abundance, and the Celestine Prophecy, both of which I'd been looking on amazon for! - and had a nap. I love afternoon naps!

Pottered about, had some fabulous gluten free patties on a bed of rocket with shaved parmesan and tahini for dinner, and then had an early night. Woke up to a gorgeous sunny Sunday and decided more food was in order!

Yummy scrambled eggs with fetta a fresh parsley, with jasmine & green tea

I started doing the exercises in Living Out Loud whilst sitting in the backyard, and that all got me thinking about what I want to do these holidays. Then it was time to go and see my friend's new little bubba - so so teeny tiny! Can I tell you how excited I am to have these bubs in my life??

Monday - BED DAY! You heard right, all day, in bed, books and magazines. Is this gold? Yes indeed!

The holidays are off to a good start : )

PS - isn't waking up without an alarm clock the best thing?!!

debt free by 30 three

2008-07-19T17:57:00.006+10:00

I love books. I actually have a very real problem where if I walk into a bookstore, I walk out with 1 or 2 books, it's addictive. So it's exciting to now love Amazon, because even with all the postage, it's SO much cheaper than purchasing them in the physical stores. *Bliss* My latest arrival is the gorgeous Living Out Loud by the fantastical Keri Smith. Ohh this lady is a genius! So creating, loving, amazing and inspiring! The book is full of colour and creative ways to make your life full of beans and joy. I just had a huge grin on my face whilst reading : )

And even better, she has a new book out! Yay! So the fun will continue! I just wish it came a day earlier so I could have taken it with me on the flight to Perth. Yes - I made it over to WA for the first time this week, for some work stuff. Of course I also managed to go on the wettest day they've had in years, but still, what a beautiful city. And you gotta love inflight movies! I finally checked out The Other Boleyn Girl, and not really knowing much about it - WOW! Such a fantastic flick, and great cast. It always sounds so cheesy when people say that (oh yes, fabulous cast, dahhhhling), but with Eric Bana, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johanssen, it really did.

On the way back I got to see Lars and the Real Girl, which made me cry - really moving and yummo Ryan Gosling is tasty (even if he falls in love with a doll). What a movie - really touching. I started to also check out Manufacturing Dissent but ran out of time. That is the doco made about Michael Moore and I need to get it out! Looked great.

On the home front, I was all set in my pj's last night but ended up going out to see Something For Kate, a band who I used to lurve, but then kind of moved on from. However, so so glad I went - they played a whole mixture from all their albums and I was singing along.. fun night. Got to catch up with an old friend as well which was really nice.

So feeling a little heady today and am still in the pj's, but hey, that's what Sundays are all about, right? ;) So yes, most of the day has been spent in bed and reading. I've just started The 100 Mile Diet, which I'm just devouring. Raises so many interesting points and it's a little (lot!) scary to realise just how far removed we are from our food.

I've also been back on the lookout for new Personal Finance blogs, as I'm finally making movement on paying of the debt. It's looking like I could well be debt free by 33 and that makes my heart shine. Bring it on!!!! Anyway, so I found some cool blogs (will update my sidebar soon) and the best couple of links are below. 100 great tips for saving money & 100 things to do during a money free weekend. Some pretty cool ideas : )

So right now I'm checking out some good books, loving some interesting PF blogs and also found a new dangerous link - the Top 100 Aussie Women Blogs - because I don't already spend enough time online as it is! Eep! Some awesome new discoveries to be found.

Now though, I've got to focus on the task at hand - deciding what to cook for dinner. I am needing some more peace, love and brown rice in my life so the food is gonna be healthy and wholesome, and even better, I'll get to share it with my gorgeous flatmate.

Life is good : )

**Honourable Mention has to go to Mad Mex - an awesome new mexican place on Crown Street in Surry Hills. YUM YUM YUM. I love Mexican - but let me tell you, it's damn hard to find good tasting Mexican deliciousness around Sydney. This goes part way in helping ammend that problem.

Where the hell is Matt? You will love it!

2008-07-09T13:02:00.002+10:00

>>>Where the Hell is Matt??<<<

This will make your heart smile : )

How to avoid being grumpy

2008-07-06T11:11:00.003+10:00

With thanks to Hip Tranquil Chick:

- drink oodles of water

- read a good book

- don fabulous sunglasses

- wear a flowy dress

- enjoy the complimentary hot yoga

- apply waterproof mascara

- surround yourself with people who make you laugh

- go for a swim

- stay locked up in AC (or the heater!) with a yummy book (for an even better dose of tranquility, add in a yummy cupcake)

- don open-toe shoes and get a pedi

- drink more water

- eat a yummy spinach salad with strawberries

- focus on all you have to be grateful for

- call someone you love and thank them for being in your life

- meditate on a comfy cushion

- write it out in your journal

Rearview Mirror

2008-07-06T10:18:00.004+10:00

"we form our own destiny by our thoughts and beliefs" emmet fox

We all have this great big vision of where we want our life to be - of how we want our destiny to pan out. Me, through the young eyes of a 12 year old, thought I'd be a writer with a well established career, that I would own my own house with my husband and kids.

For better or worse our visions don't always come to fruition, but it's interesting to sometimes look back on the path we created for ourselves, figure out if we chose the right fork in the road, and then if not..... do everything in our power to get back on the right track.

What is the right track? Of course it will change and ebb and flow just as the seasons do at different stages in our life. But sometimes you just 'know' that where you are, right now, is not right. It just feels a bit murky.

No matter how far you travel down a wrong road, you can always turn back. Always.

So here we go. I'm trying to leave behind some of my past (while always knowing that it has shaped me into who i am today), and turn down a different road. It's scary but also exciting.

Ok.. nah, I'm scared shitless. Haha. I know my battles and even though they make things uncomfortable, I have had them for years. They are almost like a security blanket. But the time has come to let go and jump.

It's kind of freaky really.. to get to a point and realise you are completely f*&ked and then have no idea how to go about fixing it. So i'm picking up books and podcasts and I'm going back to being a student (i always was ok at that).. and I'll follow the plan laid out in the book and the words from my friends. It's really all i can do right now and honestly, it's not too bad a beginning.

In a Nutshell

2008-06-29T09:45:00.002+10:00

Well I had a great big recap of my week ready to post up here... but i can't seem to open gmail for some reason so here's a recap of things making my world turn at the moment...

Gaiam Yoga Club is something I'm starting this week. Rodney Yee is one of my fave yoga instructors and this is a great new club where you practice at home at your own pace. Best of all, the supply you with loads of meditation and practice podcasts.

Friends, I am becoming a runner. What's that saying?? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? Well yes, I'm imitating my bella sister who is now a runner. Yes - my sister, who gave birth to a gorgeous little LaLa not too long ago. And she looks good! So I'm inspired to imitate her, and have joined a running group. First session was last friday (at 6.15am!!!) and it rocked! The gal who runs the running club (hehe) is a runner herself and also a sports massage therapist, and she's all about technique and how to do it safely. I have signed up for a block of 10 and now just need to buy a headband to cover my ears (it's cold in the morning!)

I'm also back on the goal of cooking a dish from every one of my cookbooks before the year is out. I love reading cookbooks - and dreaming of what I'll create. But then I become lazy and just stick to the good old faves. But I have some delish looking recipes and I'll create tonight!

Meditation is something I need to pick up this week too. I saw my lovely counsellor and then had acupuncture this week, and a LOT of stuff came up. I'm still digesting most of it but i need an outlet for it, and just a way of dealing with it. So meditation might be the key. Another way of dealing with it is by being active - the yoga is good, the running is good, but I'm also (on the recommendation of my therapist!) taking up kickboxing. I'm looking forward to it!

So that's me, in a nutshell. Hope you are keeping smiley too! x

Happy Housewarming!!!

2008-06-24T19:59:00.003+10:00

There was pictionary, curries for 16, water problems, water solutions, hula hoops, great friends and many glorious memories.

What a night : )

How on earth did I get here?

2008-06-24T19:18:00.004+10:00

I guess I was never too worried about money... I mean, growing up, we didn't have any, so when I started earning it, I just spent it. It was a nice change. And then I got a loan when I moved to Sydney cause, you know, Sydney is an expensive city! And then the debts got bigger, the savings became non-existant, and here we are... a 30 year old in way too much debt and with no savings.

So it was pretty cool to read Too Smart about reflecting on getting into debt - reflecting on how the hell did I get to this crazy position! He says:
I've spent a week doing "reflection". Writing things about "how I got here". It might make for decent copy, but, as always, it's not really moving me any towards my goals.
This is a common problem with me. I have big ideas, big plans. I'm a great "thinker", I'm a horrible "do-er". I have to do something to improve my situation before I go to bed tonight.

Well - me too. It's really freaky that I have no savings to speak of, over 10k in debt, and friends around me who are now talking about putting down a deposit for a house. Oh My God. I don't even have a deposit for a holiday. And that has to change.

I've actually rejigged my whole yoga teaching timetable and I will start earning a good couple of hundred bucks a week, to go right onto my debt snowball. And of course I got paid last week, got all excited, and signed up for this course in true Shiny style - no debt repayments to be had. Sure, the course is gonna be good but it's not getting me any closer to being debt free! So readers, I'm taking my spending habits to the street. Well rather, my new savings habits to the people. I'm getting back to regularly updating my debt snowball page, and will include a listing of how much exactly I earn for yoga - and thus will be shamed into putting all of it onto debt repayments.

I figure if I work my pahooti off till the end of the year I can without a doubt get rid of my credit card and loan. Now THAT is a good thought.
x

Today i am grateful for:
* Friends coming together for a diner party on the weekend
* Yoga practice
* reading books while snuggled in bed on a cold day!
* lovely cups of tea from T2
* sticky date pudding with icecream and strawberries
* my counsellor

All that talk of food...

2008-06-09T19:29:00.005+10:00

...got me searching & wandering around the net..... and so I eventually came across Wednesday Chef and TA DA this gorgeous recipe. All I can say is YUM!

So I haven't tried this YET but as I'm always on the lookout for yummy new recipes, I'm sure as heck gonna give this one a whirl. Hopefully you do too : )

Giant Lima Beans with Roasted Peppers
Serves 2 amply as a main course
1/2 pound giant white lima beans
5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 yellow onion, finely chopped
1 large garlic clove, finely chopped
2 roasted red bell peppers
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 bay leaf2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, to taste

1. Put the beans in a pot with ample water to cover (enough to come about 3 inches above the beans). Let sit for half an hour. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce the flame to low and simmer the beans for approximately 1 hour, or until al dente. About 15 minutes before removing the beans from the heat, season with salt. Drain and reserve the boiling liquid.

2. As the beans simmer, heat the 3 tablespoons olive oil in large skillet over medium heat, and sauté the onion and garlic until translucent, about 5 minutes. Remove the peppers from their oil and finely chop. Add them to the onions and garlic, and stir over medium heat for about 3 minutes to meld the flavors a little. Remove from the heat and add the beans to the pepper mixture. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and stir gently to combine.

3. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Scrape the bean mixture in an ovenproof glass or ceramic baking dish. Add about 1/2 cup of the reserved bean cooking liquid. Drizzle 2 tablespoons olive oil over the beans. Tuck a bay leaf into the center of the dish, covering the leaf well with the beans. Cover the dish and bake for about 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until the beans are very tender and their centers creamy.

4. Five minutes before the beans come out of the oven, pour in the vinegar. Remove from the oven and serve. You can let the beans cool to room temperature as well and serve the next day.

Food, glorious food!

2008-06-09T19:04:00.005+10:00

My new housemate follows a gluten free diet, and it's interesting. I followed a gluten/wheat/dairy/sugar/red meat free diet for 3 months a couple of years ago for depression and it was amazing. I felt so full of beans and energy and my skin was so clear, it was phenomenal... and very hard to follow hah!

But it's not a 'choice' for my housemate, she medically has to follow this diet - her body don't like gluten!!!!

And while I follow a very heavy vegetarian based diet (with some fish thrown in) and love my lentils, brown rice and vegies, and feel that I eat quite well, well... looking seriously at ingredients in diets is fabulous.

I recently found Green Bean Dreams and it has made me really explore diet and sustainable living. This book has also excited my interest in food. And this blog.

Now.. I'm off, and I'm hungry ;)

Till next time.. x

... maybe, whatever

2008-06-07T21:09:00.003+10:00

Maybe it was the way that he looked at that other gal in the restaurant tonight. The blonde, skinny chick with the tight outfit.

Maybe it was the fact I just didn't want to go out with them cause I feel like I am too self conscious.

Maybe it is coming home and watching a gig on tv, of a band i used to work on when they were young, it was their first release, and now they're big and maybe it's all the bands I work on and now I wonder if even a handful of them will remember me. cause i certainly don't get the looks or the conversation i used to.

Maybe, and I think most likely, it's just because I am not happy with myself right now. And I haven't been for a while.

This isn't depression. This is looking back, when you've hit a significant age, and you wonder if it is where you thought you'd be. And even if not where you thought you'd be.. it's AM I HAPPY WHERE I AM NOW?

(this is a stream of consciousness happening here too!)

The answer... no.

Kachtus talks about a part of it. Me being a flubber is another part of it. And I suppose the thing is that it's not something that isn't able to be fixed. But it's still a bit blah.

I saw little LaLa today and it's like Sar and I were talking about... you know, I in no way whatsoever want a babe of my own at the moment. I am clucky, I love babies and I love lala more than i thought i could ever love someone, but I just couldn't handle one of my own right here, right now. But I'm not young. And I am perennially single. The prognosis doesn't look great.

But whatever, it's odd. I'm in an odd mood tonight. Cause I know that maybe one day things will become shiny. I doubt it, but I am in no doubt that it's possible. If that makes sense. *sigh*

Anyway, too much to digest. I am gonna go to bed with a book. It's about as much action as this chick is getting at the mo.

signing off x

Good things can come from a GOOD WINTER

2008-05-23T19:21:00.006+10:00

(i adore keri smith)

It’s funny – I used to wear glasses years ago and then after a while my eyes were ok without them. But as I’ve been doing more and more computer work, they’re starting to feel a bit tired and sore. And when they’re tired and sore, it’s a pretty good reflection of how my heart and soul are feeling…. 'cause lately, times have been a bit tough.

My work is something I love love love, but I suppose.. like any profession (and any path you take in life) you can be surrounded by those who you don’t love love love. And indeed, those people are the ones who could perhaps do with some lovin’ cause they certainly don’t seem to share much around! ;)

So I’ve been scouring the net for some new tunes to chill me out and I came across the most gorgeous BON IVER. Seriously, how wonderful is this song (The Wolves, Act I & II)? And best yet, it makes my heart not so sore… don’t you love music’s ability to do that?

I hope you are all doing well xx

ps - this also makes my heart ...hmm... perhaps not soar, but definitely SHINE! ;)

Home Sweet Home

2008-05-17T17:51:00.004+10:00

Well the move is done, I'm here! I still have a couple of random boxes to unpack (one which contains my laptop!) but mostly I'm settled into my gorgeous new home. I moved a few suburbs out and couldn't be happier.

I am loving living in a house now (as opposed to a studio!) and my flatmate is just fantastic. Oh, and we have a bath! For those of you with baths in your homes, this might not be as exciting as it is for me.. but having lived in little studios where you can barely turn around in your own shower, a bath is certainly a luxurious treat!

I have a persistent cold that I've had for a good 3 weeks now that I know is just a symptom of being run down and in between seasons, so thank goodness I have central heating in the new home to stay rugged up and cosy in : ) And a tough but satisfying decision I've come to is that I've given up permanant teaching on weekends. Covers here and there are fine, but with my M-F day being so hectic, I realised (well, my body did first, then all my friends told me, then I finally listened) that being run down is no way to live. So this weekend is my first of total slobbing about the house, going to bed at 9pm and loving every moment of it!

Art of Yoga is around the corner from my house so I got up to a yoga class today (focussing on Dharana and knees) and it was gorgeous! Beautiful stretch to start the day. And last night I spent a bit of time looking up some recipes to start cooking in my new kitchen as I've become very happily all homely! So these vegan stuffed capsicums and this yummy sounding butternut pumpkin risotto with greens are both on the menu this week.

I have some lovely pics of my backyard (again - see the bath story above. I have, for the first time in a long time, a backyard!) and my new red corduroy skirt to post up soon (what better way to chase away the winter blues than with a splash of red?!)... but first my email needs to deliver them. I think it is also hibernating.

So stay tuned and keep warm and enjoy a cute piece on how to be a woman. It'll bring a smile to your face, I promise.

Till next time,

xxx

PS - Perhaps it's because I feel like I'm living in the movie 'Mean Girls' every time I am at work. Perhaps it's because people just aren't as polite as they could be in traffic, at the shops, or on the street. Perhaps it's because I'm a little run down and hence a bit more emotional of late (hehe), but whatever the reason, I really felt the following few words I received in an email from one of my yoga students just really touched me. I hope you enjoy them too:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.>> Watch your words, they become actions.>> Watch your actions, they become habits.>> Watch your habits, they become character.>> Watch your character, for it becomes...your destiny.>>>> 'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle'. x

Do we have a choice???

2008-05-08T18:07:00.002+10:00

"Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you make it now."

This is from the wonderful song, “Falling Slowly” from the Once soundtrack. Do you know it? The one that Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova won a grammy or something for... very technical - a big award tho!

Anyway, as I am sitting on the couch in my pj's with a steaming hot cup of ginger tea next to me, I am making the choice NOT to get sick. My throat is so so sore and I know it's just because I'm run down (moving, busy at work, teaching, studying etc!) but it still sux. Blah.

Anyway, that quote is just perfect for me right now - I've been too busy lately and not taking care of myself so next week it's all about health. I'm doing yoga. I'm eating well. I'm slowing down.

x

Colour Week Mash-Up

2008-05-04T16:07:00.003+10:00

You should never be somewhere and just say "Fuck it."

It should be a calculated, scheduled, premeditated choice. (Skinny Bitch)

Lucy at Nourish Me had this fun exercise where you turn to page 123 of your current read (for me, Skinny Bitch), count in 5 sentences, write the next 3. But for me, the next 2 just summed up a lot of where I am right now.. and where would that be? Sitting in the living area of my brand new home! Yes, I finally moved house on Thursday and while I am exhausted and want to cry from tiredness, I am so happy and somewhat all rosy inside.

I am now a Summer Hill resident, the furthest I've lived away from my 'hood since moving to Sydney nearly a decade ago, but it's gorgeous. AND... a lot cheaper.

So while this move is definitely calculated and premeditated, I have to say there's been a bit of universe involvement. I was looking for months, then decided to share house and came across a gorgeous old friend I went to uni with. This couldn't have been easier. The world really listens when you ask. : )

So apart from having a weekend at home unpacking and cleaning and purging (oh, and going to have a massage as I pulled a muscle in my neck lifting boxes, yow!), I have also been very still in myself and really loving life away from the busy-ness of N-Town. I've had numerous cups of tea. I've read and re-read the new issue of Yoga Journal without interuption. I've meditated (!!!). I've gone on a wander around the local streets and discovered the fabulous organic store (aka heaven!) just 2 streets away from 'home'. And I've even cooked.

I did however, miss out on the yoga course this weekend, which I'm pretty upset about. Spending the whole weekend with Simon Borg-Olivier is my idea of heaven - that guy is a modern day guru, or as close to one as I've ever met, seriously! - but I had to get the last few things from my old house, and really needed the time to settle. I've got a band in town this week from the UK so I know I'll have a busy busy one, so home time, when and where I can grab it, is good : )

So I'm very excited and inspired on the home front, obviously, but also on the blog front. Hula Seventy has given us the challenge of a Colour Week and I've been longing for a photo challenge for a while, so here goes. Tomorrow, it's all about green! Oh, and Hula Seventy gave me the inspiration from the official hostess - Curious Bird. Need some ideas? Check out all her links from participants!!

monday: green
tuesday: yellow
wednesday: orange
thursday: pink/red
friday: blue

In other news.. well, there's not heaps of other news. Moving takes up a lot of energy haha! So I'll leave you with that.. oh, and a big welcome back to Kachtus who brightened up my day when I saw her email.

Stay rosy guys xx

Debt... chipping away

2008-04-29T13:16:00.002+10:00

GREAT NEWS -

I have PAID OFF my car share bill, IN FULL.

Not one penny left that I owe them.

HOORAH!!!!!!!!!

Oh, & I found $15 on the road yesterday. A $10 and a $5 note. Things are looking up :)

x

Back to Work already?!

2008-04-20T19:46:00.005+10:00

Weekend:

- yummy mushroom agnolotti pasta with salad and breadrolls

- morning yoga

- naps during a rainy day

- cheese on biccies

- afternoon yoga

- New Internationalist essays

- pink tulips in the bathroom

- clean house

- weekend papers

- books

- ribena

- downward facing dog

- goodnight x

Course, of Course

2008-04-19T18:11:00.004+10:00

It has been way too long since I've been planning on doing the Yoga Anatomy & Physiology course run by Yoga Synergy.

Each year it comes around. And each year I get excited... and then despondant because I can't afford it. Well looks like it's going to be a tight month on the budget front but so be it - because his year, I AM ENROLLED! I am doing it! And I am so excited : )

It starts next weekend so stay tuned for exciting updates xxx

More inspiration to shake Pahootis

2008-04-19T17:00:00.004+10:00

“Meryl Tankard… astonishing, superb, disconcerting.” Le Figaro Magazine

Internationally acclaimed for the emotional punch packed into her inventive choreography, Meryl Tankard is one of Australia’s finest contemporary artists. She continues to work around the world, with recent projects ranging from a sell-out Sydney Festival collaboration titled KAIDAN with Taiko drummers, to the new Broadway musical Tarzan.

I won 2 tix to see the amazing INUK2 at the Theatre Royal last week, and took Miss Em along with me for a night of fun. It was FABULOUS - but how can one describe the lightness of the dancers? The phenomenal choreography? The strength of the cast? It is a near impossible task to describe it all as eloquently as it deserves, but hopefully I've made a start.

A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to see MONSTERS with Sylvie Guillam at the Opera House - where it was literally Sylvie and one other dancer on a blank white stage. So coming to Inuk2 and seeing a cast of 17 dancers all doing different things was a completely different experience - but both left me speechless! At time in both I laughed aloud, I gasped and had a sore mouth and jaw from smiling so much tehee

What a fabulous night!

I'm in LOVE

2008-04-06T19:53:00.001+10:00

...with broccoli. Yep, love it.
Corn comes a close second....

any vegie you ADORE??

The Art of Listening - Take 2

2008-04-01T20:37:00.002+11:00

I had to laugh aloud as I was reading my fave blogs this evening, when I came across Everyday Yogini who had this to say: Even after years of practicing Yoga, I am skilled at the art of ignoring my body. Which is evidenced by my shoulder injury recently while practicing. This is also evidenced by my recent and amazing binge of all things pizza and dessert, which has led me back into a health crisis. Seriously.

I read this as I am literally switching between 2 laptops - my home one where I'm catching up on emails and sites, & my work computer, where I'm catching up on a busy day's worth of emails. Oh, and the TV is on, with my mobile phone ringing beside me. I kid you not!!

But even funnier (if that is the word!) is that I was googling for SPIRULINA on one web page as I was waiting for Blogger to load on another, because I was going to write a post about the magic natural potion that is this amazing spirulina - which was recommended to me yesterday as I'm so run down!!! Seriously.

So yes - the world works in wonderful ways, and today while I was trying to do way too many things at once, it was spelled out clearly in front of me : "Even after years of practicing Yoga, I am skilled at the art of ignoring my body". But I'm not going to ignore all these signs around me, and the TV is off now. The work stuff is put aside, and I'm going to have a relaxing shower! Oh, and I'm passing my lesson onto you - if you're sometimes not tuned into your own body, be sure to listen to all those little signs around you, and take it easy. : )

x me

PS - and if you are a bit run down yourself, spirulina (with its nutrients by the bucketload) is apparently the great natural cure. Oh, and so is resting, eating fruit, drinking water, and napping. ;)

Progress, not Perfection

2008-03-23T19:11:00.002+11:00

Well the good news - I got $450 back from Medicare recently (yep, had a whole bunch of Dr and psychologist visits to claim), woohoo! And I had it all planned out and budgeted for this upcoming month. Then D'OH! I actually gave them the wrong account info to put the $$ into and instead of having it in my open (& accessible) account, I gave them the info to put it onto my loan repayments account.

This is actually all good in hindsight – my loan repayment is now under $4000, for the first time in about 5 years – woohoo!!! And I will be on an ultra-tight budget for the rest of the month but that is not a bad thing. I'm really really inspired to keep my debt going DOWN!

Speaking of all things money, have you heard about the movie MAXED OUT, the James Scurlock doco? I've not seen it yet although have wanted to for a while, and good news: a few sites have uploaded the flick including Single Ma right here. Check it out!

Maxed Out: Hard Times, Easy Credit and Predatory Lenders
When Hurricane Katrina ravaged America's Gulf Coast, it laid bare an uncomfortable reality-America is not only far from the world's wealthiest nation; it is crumbling beneath a staggering burden of individual and government debt. Maxed Out takes us on a journey deep inside the American debt-style, where everything seems okay as long as the minimum monthly payment arrives on time. Sure, most of us may have that sinking feeling that something isn't quite right, but we're told not to worry. After all, there's always more credit! Maxed Out shows how the modern financial industry really works, explains the true definition of "preferred customer" and tells us why the poor are getting poorer and the rich getting richer. By turns hilarious and profoundly disturbing, Maxed Out paints a picture of a national nightmare which is all too real for most of us.

In other news, hobbies are taking off : ) I have kept up with Sunday Scribblings, I'm looking forward to going to a Stretch Class at SDC this coming weekend, and also kicking up the ante of my photography challenge.

Stay tuned - and happy Easter, friends. x

The Experiment

2008-03-15T15:25:00.004+11:00

The Experiment is to restore my spirit.

Pretty simple really. I’m giving myself 7 days to find myself again. Easy ;)

YogaMum recently asked 'how would you begin again the story of your life?' - and me, well, I feel I’ve lost my way a little. I’m not really where I want or need to be right now. And the good news about the situation is that it’s definitely fixable.

YogaMum kinda gives us the rule book for this restoration thingy, where she says 'Each day, I can do more, be more, love more, than I have in the past. I can let go of the old, unhelpful ways of my life, and simply begin again.'

Each day this upcoming 7 days, I can love more by meditating. 5 mins every morning.

Each day this upcoming 7 days I can let go of the old by nourishing my body with home cooked & nutritious meals. No take away.

Each day this upcoming 7 days I can simply begin again by practicing yoga every single day. I look forward to getting the toxins out of my body by breathing deeply and stretching out. My head is always a little calmer after yoga.

I can't wait to begin again, and find my spirit nestled in some tissue paper again at the end of 7 days.

Online love

2008-03-15T14:53:00.007+11:00

We are truly blessed with the internet.

Sure there are good things and bad things about living in a crazy technological age, but the best thing is that we get to make so many more friends. I have a loooong list of blogs that I check out each day - some I lurk on, some I am active on - and the good thing about having wonderful,creative and inspiring friends? I can copy them.

Isn't trying to emulate the good habits of others a darn good compliment? As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.. or some such. So here we go. I'm still feeling a bit blue, so I'm going to try emulate these shiny peeps...

Cook like Dreena - yum yum yum, I really can't wait to whip up this Sweet Curry Chickpea bake. Dreena - no kidding - makes cooking fun! I tell you, cheesey as that sounds, I always want to run into the kitchen after I read one of her posts and eat vegies.

Live like YogaMum - she is the fab creator of WoYoPracMo and is never fails to inspire me. There's always a poem, a recipe or something or other going on over there. I have enough trouble taking care of myself, let alone others. YogaMum seems to do it in a beautiful way.

Create lik e Keri Smith - honestly, I often wonder where peope find the TIME to do things. I am so busy and hectic doing things that I can't possibly pull out 5 mins to write or draw and create... and between you and me, I think that is where my spirit is crashing. What is life if without colour and texture and sparkles? Omg you have to go over and check out Wish Jar as it's overflowing with ideas... I'm getting started on them NOW.

There are so many more that I need to take inspiration from but for today, this will do. I need to get hot with the hobbies, see my friends, do my yoga and nourish my spirit.

I'll give you an update in 7 days on my progress. x

Grey skies

2008-03-10T19:05:00.000+11:00

A few years back I really hit the depths of depression.

I remember sitting on the floor in my house, near the lounge, and just crying. I had been given some time off work and I just couldn't DO anything. Well, except sleep, and cry, and sleep some more. So my bella sister came up with a simple solution – sleep as much as I want to, don't eat, cry, sleep some more or whatever, just as long as once a day, every single day, I left the house.

Now if you've never had depression, you're probably thinking this is normal.. easy.. what, of COURSE you'd leave the house every day.. but when the black dog is perched at the end of your bed, it takes enormous amounts of strength to even get dressed for the day. And that doesn't include having a shower. Trust me.

But I kept that promise to her, and even if I just went to the corner store to get a juice, I left the house once a day.

It was during this time that $5 lunchtime yoga classes started near my house, so I became a regular. Monday to Friday, I'd try to go for the 50 minute class, and then would come back home and sleep, not eat, cry and sleep some more guilt free. And would you believe, this yoga thing really started to have some amazing effects on my body.

So now when I am once again feeling choked and heavy and sad and like I can't breathe, I am going to keep a simple promise to myself… that I will go for a walk or do some teeny tiny form of exercise every day. Even if it's just a walk around the block. I will do it, once a day, every single day.

Repeat to self:

2008-03-03T22:34:00.003+11:00

Yoga is GOOD!

It never fails to keep blowing me away... just how much I love yoga. And it never fails to keep blowing me away... just how often I forget this. D'oh!

I have done yoga once in the last week due to a crazy work schedule but tonight I hit the mat again and am so so happy right now. I've had a very stressful day and in fact last few days, and I actually felt my old friend the black dog by my side. It's been a while since I've had that companion. But right now, this minute, I'm smiling.

...and that is a nice feeling.

Peace, Love + Brown Rice

2008-02-29T19:51:00.004+11:00

I need a little more of all of these in my life.

Lately - for the whole last month, really - work has been intense. Intensely intense. For an example, my last week has been as follows:

Sunday worked all day at an outdoor festival (12noon to 11pm)

Monday had band in town, had work dinner at night

Tuesday has band in town, had work gig at night

Wednesday had band in town, had work gig at night

Thursday had band in another town so caught up on all my office work! Work gig at night

Friday.... sick at home

It's no surprise really that my throat is killing me today. My last week has been massively crazy and busy but I actually have enjoyed it - but the whole month has been full on. I'm actually feeling really on top of everything at work as well but yeh, rest sometimes is good.

I had a plan in February to deepen my yoga practice, but I've actually worked so much that yoga has taken a back seat.

pEaCe

So I definitely need some more yoga in my life. I need some more inner peace. When things are busy self-care flies out the window and it's a habit I need to break. So this month I'm going to go to a meditation class and up the yoga practice. Also going to jump on the treadmill so I can do some self-meditation.

lOvE

Self love, any love! Whatever falls under that banner, I need some of it. I need to do something this month, something to look forward to. Similar to an artist date, but just a date with myself. I am going to go to an art gallery, I am going to going to figure out some more things too. Stay tuned.

bRoWn RiCe

Food glorious food! I am going to eat proper meals this month. I'm gonna back off on takeaway. I'm going to cook with kate and quinoa and post foto evidence on here : )

Getting things done

2008-02-11T12:30:00.000+11:00

"If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it." Priscilla Welch (who won the 1987 NY City Marathon at age 42)

We are so full of excuses, aren't we? A reason not to get fit, a reason to not do whatever it is we really should be doing.... so I had to giggle when I came across 91 Kicks in the Butt in the latest issue of Runner's World. It was literally 91 reasons to kick yourself out of your excuses to not exercise (run, in this case). The quote above just really stuck with me.

What am I holding back on right now? Well, definitely the healthy lifestyle thing. I used to eat really well - lots of water and fresh fruit and veg. And I keep telling myself that I'm having a little blip, that really, I do eat healthy. But truth be told, I haven't eaten that healthily for a while.

I know when it started, and why it started, but exercise and healthy eating aren't really regular parts of my life right now. So enough with the excuses - I need to START NOW. I have wondered about it for far too long and well, I need that kick up the butt and the Runner's World article gave it to me.

In an ideal world I will:
* Move my bahooti every day - seriously, how hard is it to walk around the block?
* Exercise 4 times a week - yoga, fitness class, personal training practice, treadmill
* Have 4 alcohol free days every week - because we only have one liver, and life is too short to have hangovers
* Eat fruit + veg every single day - hangs head in shame. You think this would be a given, yeh? Hmm not currently

Now.. it's time to make that ideal world a REAL world : ) I have a satisfying but hectic job that sees my timetable change week to week, but that is ok, there are still 24 hours in a day! This week I am planning:
Tues: 6.30am Yoga
Wed: am walk, 8.30pm Yoga
Thurs: am walk, at work conference
Fri: at work conference
Sat: at work conference, working at Good Vibes (so at least I'll do walking at the festival!)
Sun: travel down south coast, pm yoga

Fingers crossed for a productive week starting NOW! x

Fridge Space

2008-02-10T16:45:00.000+11:00

It wasn't until a few days later that I was at home long enough to need to head to the fridge. Work has been pretty full on and with an international artist in town, I've been doing a lot of eating out ;)

But at long last I was home again and it was hot; And as there's nothing better to cool yourself down with than a big glass of icy cold water, that was the plan. But there was no icy cold water in the fridge - instead, there was just a fridge full of off food.

The very same day I did a big grocery shop, I used the microwave at home which meant unplugging the fridge and plugging in the microwave. This isn't normally a big deal for me as I don't often use the microwave, but for some reason or other I forgot to plug it back in. DANG!

Perhaps I will listen to my sister at long lastwhen she tellsme to just buy a double adapter for the kitchen....

hiiiYAH!

2008-02-05T19:53:00.000+11:00

Biggest Loser is on tv and whatever you think about it, it is inspiring for me!
So much so that I have hooked up with the best personal trainer ever, and am starting this friday. Money... yeh, it's an issue, but it's for health, right?!

I actually had packed my bag bright and early this morning.. ready to go to yoga straight from work this evening at 7.30pm. Went into the bathroom at work to change and TADA!!! found out I'd left my yoga pants at home : ( so that sucked but that meant I could instead come home, watch Biggest Loser and cook a yummy salmon steak +vegies for dinner. So all's well that ends well : )

Hope yr rocking.. And hey - if you were on Biggest Loser, what would be your 'play'?? Would you partake in the challenges where you can choose junk food for immunity? Would you 'play the game' or would you be solely focussed on the weight? It's an interesting q....

xx